While you are away
My heart comes undone
Slowly unravels
In a ball of yarn
‘Cause sometimes you feel tired,
feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.’
—Eminem - Till I Collapse
GET BIG
Food Log for 2/2/2011
I’ll edit this throughout the day to show everyone what and how often i’m eating. Again i’m NOT yet dieting for contest, this is just a sample of what my meals look like during a normal day.
8:am
1 cup coffee sweetened with 1 packet Stevia
Egg Protein Shake:
4 egg whites, splash of fat free milk, 1 scoop chocolate protein, 3 medium strawberries and 1/2 small banana. Blend until smooth (and NO, its not the 1920s, its pretty much safe to have raw eggs now. Of course if you dont want to take that risk, cook your egg whites and use water in your shake.)
10 am:
More COFFEE w stevia
Preworkout Pancakes (no gym today, its closed because of the ice storm)
Ingredients: 4 egg whites, 1/2 cup rolled oats, 1 tbsp flaxseed, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder, 1/3 cup low fat low sodium cottage cheese. Blend until smooth and cook like regular pancakes!
Top with sugar free/fat free syrup, blueberries, walnuts.
(This will comprise most of my carbohydrates for the day. One more meal will include a carb such as rice or potato but I try to avoid these in the evening!)
12 pm:
4 oz baked chicken 1 cup peas ;)
3pm
4 oz tuna steak, 1 1/2 cup spinach, 1/2 cup grape tomatoes, onion, and balsamic vinegar as dressing.
5pm
4 oz chicken breast, 1 cup green beans and some HOT SAUCCEEEE
630 pm
1 cup vanilla protein pudding with reduced fat vanilla wafers. omg its so good.
SO FOR EVERYONE WHO THINKS I HAVE A “PROBLEM” WITH DIETING….i flip that index finger and the middle finger follows?
Lets talk about disappointment.
So I’ve had a little setback with my dieting, and I’m not happy about it.
I had a serious carb meltdown over the last couple days. What was supposed to be one cheat snack turned into a three day fat fest, and now I’m incredibly disappointed in myself.
Over the last three days I have eaten : Peach cobbler with ice cream, four poptarts, another bowl of ice cream, two pieces of pizza hut pizza, and ENTIRE frozen pizza, countless candies (butterfinger, reeses, york pattie, kit kats) just to name a few.
I had been doing PERFECT. Following my diet and training plan to a T. And it all came crashing down only because I have no discipline.
A lot is going on in my life. My relationships, my finances, my “career”, my family…its all very stressful. But still is NO EXCUSE for fucking up what I’ve been working for.
Now, the most annoying thing is the lack of support from those around me. ”You’re too hard on yourself” ”You look incredible, you deserve to eat junk once in a while” Well, guess what, this is important to me. If it wasnt important to me, I wouldnt be PAYING someone to train me, PAYING for food and supplements, and PAYING for the rest of my contest prep. I’m not going to disclose how much this all costs, but if you know anything about this shit, its expensive.
Which leads me back to the fact that I am disappointed, I was weak, and I need more discipline.
Guess I’ll have to pull myself up by my boot straps and start over! Wish me luck!
Larissa Reis! My inspiration. My contest prep starts in exactly thirty days, and I am so excited and completely thrilled!
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
